Latest Posts
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Acceptance, Inner Peace & The Joy Of A 96th Minute Equaliser
There’s nothing quite like a 96th‑minute equaliser to make the soul tremble with joy. And that noise that came from the Bycars as Martin Sherif wheeled away – that deafening silence from those travellers from Reading – music to my… Continue reading
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Port Vale And The Many Doors Out Of Here
The Escape From Reality There comes a point where reality feels like a pair of hands around the throat. Not tight enough to kill you – just firm enough to remind you who’s in charge. Bills, headlines, work, the slow… Continue reading
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The Wilful Disintegration of Port Vale FC
Has there ever been a group of footballers less interested in doing their job than the ones we watched in that second half at Stevenage? They’ve checked out. Utterly. No interest in achieving anything, no urgency, no pride. Just a… Continue reading
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Continental Drift: Port Vale’s European Experiment, 2016/17
The 2016/17 season was, for so many reasons, an astonishing one for Vale. Not quite on the level of the Jim Gannon Experience™ – nothing short of an exorcism could match that – but still deeply shambolic in its own… Continue reading
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Paulo Tavares, Cognitive Dissonance, and Port Vale FC
I’d like to pull on your coat for a minute and tell you a story. It’s about Cognitive Dissonance and Confirmation Bias – those psychological mechanisms that allow us to overlook reality and follow our own narrative. It’s about those… Continue reading
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¡Bienvenido, Compañero Hernández!
Look at us. We’ve dipped into the global talent pool and come up clutch. Onel Hernández doesn’t just arrive from the long, unromantic road that is Charlton, Norwich, Middlesbrough and Birmingham, no, Hernández arrives with the unmistakable imprint of Cuba… Continue reading
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Where the Mind Rests: Football, Sanctuary, and Vale Park
What does Vale Park mean to you? Every time I see a photo of the ground from the 1970s, I’m instantly taken back to my childhood and, more specifically, to my football experience of that era – walking down Dolly’s… Continue reading
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Port Vale: The Art of Stepping Away (And Finding Your Way Back Again)
There comes a moment in every long-term relationship (you know the sort, those messy, life-dented ones) where you look across the room at the person you love and think, “I need a bit of space.” Not doors slammed, boxes packed.… Continue reading
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Port Vale: The Final Roll of the Dice
The transfer window has slammed shut. This is it. This is this. So, in comes Andre Gray (Andre fucking Gray! I know, it’s crackers!), two young lads from Everton, the lad from Workington whom Brady worked with at Northampton and,… Continue reading
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The Last Cry of ‘Derek I’m Gutted!!!’?
There’s a special kind of magic going on in a fanzine, and it’s a magic stitched together with pritt-stick, scissors, tippex, photocopiers, late nights and DIY stubbornness. For 26 years, Derek I’m Gutted!!! has been that magic in print for… Continue reading
tales from the paddock 